Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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