3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
