there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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