At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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