Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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