Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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