go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
