Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
