You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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