People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize