i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
