I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
