they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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