I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
