What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
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Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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