Got a toothbrush?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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