you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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