I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
