i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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