i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs sedatives and a leash
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize