He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
