he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
