have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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