Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
