It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
