After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
