hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
