My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
