curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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