Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
