i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Swine flu is the new snow day.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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