So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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