he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
