do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
