no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
