elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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