I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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