every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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