I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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