So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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