Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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