I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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