I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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