I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
