She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He's on the porch naked. Help.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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