If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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