Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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