your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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