well most of my day revolves around power hour
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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