Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
