This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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