He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize