Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
