i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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