Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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