I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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