Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
