Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
