try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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