Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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