$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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