She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
